Since we had the Wheel for the Everyday Tarot, I pulled up another take on the Wheel from a while back.
Some bad luck is just that: bad luck. But not all is the result of random universal twitches. Sometimes, we make mistakes, and pay dearly. Sometimes, others do but their choices cost us. I really like to think that hard work pays, period. But truth is, sometimes efforts feel irrelevant. (I don’t believe they are, although they may not be relevant in the way we’d expect.)
With zero aspirations on mothering, I married a man with small children and took on that responsibility in earnest. I was sickened at how these children were being used and vowed to make everything right! My intentions were golden and I did the absolute best I knew how. I even felt good about how I managed it, hard for a Capricorn-flavored moon. At times, it seemed all the love and good intentions failed spectacularly. Those values I’d hoped to instill, the future I’d hoped for appeared forgotten, tossed out with yesterday’s trash. I still second-guess myself at times, though not so much anymore. But these things change you.
This was going to be “the year” I declared myself over this topic, finally and completely. With Pluto in my fifth, it’s a reasonable goal. I don’t think I’m done, but I can say I feel better about it that I used to. I guess my Saturn helps inoculate. Failures I’ve had, I still know I did the best I could within the scope of my abilities. When you know you’ve done your best deep in your heart, it’s easier. You can accept what fate hands you with a lot more grace.
I can rewind to hunt for buried wisdom, but living in it, constantly rubbing wounds raw seeking inadequacies serves no purpose. The trick is always living the best you know how, confident knowing everybody and everything else will go on, requiring neither my approval nor intervention. There’s actually some comfort in that.
Have you felt your efforts ineffective due luck? How do you deal with it?