The police lady gently rapped on the car window. It startled me awake, but she smiled kindly in response to my sleepy confusion. She probably thought she was waking up a teenager who’d had an ugly fight with her parents, time to go home.
She’d have been partially right. I was a teenager, not getting along with my parents. But at that moment, the car I was in WAS my home.
I am Knight of Cups, huddled up under a multi-colored crocheted throw made from yarn scraps; I clung to the familiarity of that little blanket, rolling over and over in my mind my life as I’d crocheted it, longing for the sense of certainty and simplicity embedded. I was trying to sleep off another emotional hangover in the tilted-back driver’s seat of my Mustang II.
I don’t remember ever feeling more lost. The sun was peeking above the park’s young trees for a beautiful, golden and pink-saturated daybreak. But even in my fog, I knew it was the perfect metaphor.
I also don’t ever remember feeling more free. A new day was breaking. I had no idea where it would leave me, but I knew my heart was not going to be denied.
“Trust” is the Osho Zen’s Knight of Cups (Air in Water). Knights tend to be impetuous, headstrong and sometimes, overly idealistic. While the Pollyanna in me wants to say that leap of faith pictured is going to lead to something wonderful (and that may be so), the fact is that it absolutely cannot BE a leap of faith unless it’s taken on faith itself—so no reassurances she’ll land on soft terrain.
To love equals risking loss. To fully live requires vulnerability. To get a payoff, you must pony up an investment. We’re talking emotional risk—this is the realm of the Knight of Cups. You cannot know the outcome beforehand. That’s the definition of risk. But you CAN know what it’s like to live what’s in your heart, fully and honestly, if you decide to make it so. This is the Knight’s gift and promise.
Whatever life I have, I live it authentically. For that, I’ve never felt regret. Thank you, Knight of Cups.
Have you had Knight of Cups moments?
|Osho Zen Tarot Set |
by US Games
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