Moonflower Sees Me

moonflower

Blurry, waterlogged Moonflower

I saw my first Moonflower bloom. Moonflowers are a relative to Morning Glory that bloom at night. It amused me a little, that they bloomed the first time at the full moon. Aptly named, huh?

Gifted with a pack of seeds, I had planted them way back in March, I think? Soaked the seeds and plopped them in a pot with my Morning Glory that went crazy. (I credit CJ’s Lunar home and Garden help for the Morning Glory’s liveliness. Looking up the site to link, I laughed when I saw the background picture she has up. Hello, Moonflower!)

I had believed my Moonflowers just didn’t make it. I had already mourned them.

“Ah, it’s because they are Moonflowers,” I said, maybe aloud. “They finally bloomed for me because I’m looking at my shadow.” Because you know, in my world, NOTHING ever “just is.”

Parts of me are just like these Moonflowers. I have hurts I thought were long dead and gone, losses I’d thought were already mourned and done with. I’m an awesome psychological gardener, after all! But some have taken root deep in the soil of my psyche. Alive and well, the wind through my everyday world unnoticed, hiding amongst the louder, sunnier flowers. I had no idea what was still growing. I also had no idea how they may have impacted any of the other flowers.

Moonflowers are supposed to be fragrant, but I didn’t think to sniff. It was early morning when I took this picture. I’d been up the night already, excavating in my gut, hoping I did what I needed but too muddled to know and too tired to figure it out. I tried very hard to face my own faults and even harder to feel like I’m good enough despite them. I felt every bit as blurry and waterlogged as this picture.

Now, I am feeling better. I ‘m thinking that knowing what’s growing in your psyche’s garden is the most vital information. The Moonflowers have a place, just as all my experiences have a place in making up who I am and what I value. If I’m able to not deny their existence, I can care for them appropriately and appreciate what they really have to offer. My history gives me a compassion and understanding that was hard-earned; failure to integrate the difficult parts makes it impossible to also appreciate the blooms.

Do you have Moonflowers (physical or metaphorical)?

Comments

  1. Hi, just wanted to let you know I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award.
    http://gnomelandgardens.wordpress.com/2012/08/05/one-lovely-blog-award/
    I know it’s kinda like a chain letter so no pressure to actually take part, but please know your work is appreciated!

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