Root Chakra and Family Rejection: The Power of Home-Grown Stability

There’s a VERY small group in the Secret Garden working on the Chakra workshop. At first, I was disappointed, having hoped for a bigger crowd. But  it really tickled me when I realize, it’s been an unexpected blessing. (I get what I need despite my planning, you know?)

It’s allowing us time to amble through the Chakras, exploring and pondering at a personalized pace. I’ve been rather preoccupied with the Root Chakra, while most of the gang seems to have moved on up through the Sacral and are on the Solar Plexus. Okay, I peeked at the higher Chakras, too. But still, the Root calls to me. It’s definitely a question that’s old and deep.

I write sometimes about being shunned by family due religious differences. It’s not an unfamiliar scenario to many, though. I’m always kind of amazed, how many of us weirdos and freaks and magical people come from highly conservative, highly fundamentalist, very strong religious backgrounds of one kind or another. It’s like we’re born as outliers and leave to live as outliers of a different sort.

Or maybe I’m just projecting again.

I sometimes fancy that such circumstances are arranged to provide a training grounds, for shaman and healer types. Having to fight for the right to your own belief system helps you understand the value…and the sacred right of each to select their own path. It fosters tolerance for many forms of God.

The thing about those family woes…some people think that pain, the heartache that comes from those of us cast out to some degree or another, makes us weak. Vulnerable, because it’s an attack on our foundations.  Victimy. EASY to manipulate.  All they have to do is bring it up, and wait for the stab to distract you. A there-there-pat on the back, and you’re easy pickens. This is a Root Chakra vulnerability being targeted.

Of course, some people are stupid bastards. I have Mercury/Scorpio for Christ-sakes! I see THROUGH you. I may not say so. I probably won’t. Most of the time, there’s no point. Who needs phony righteous indignation? It’s even less appealing than genuine righteous indignation.

That kind of struggle doesn’t make you weak. I mean, maybe in the midst, you’ll be off kilter. That’s restructuring, that’s transitional. But out of the storm, there is an inner strength that surfaces as a function of survival.

You learn, in full living color, exactly what really matters. Because you’ve had to choose! You know the value of family and integrity and truth, via paying a very exacting personal price to live true to that  reality. This is integration. And hey…with that realization, I know my Root is stronger than I’ve given credit for.

THAT core, that foundation made through the trials of fire, is stronger than anyone else could produce. It’s stronger than one you could get from biological family or adopted family or spouses or kids. It’s one thing no one can ever take from you, because you created it alone. You considered it, crafted it, refined it and exercised it.

That is an unshakable foundation. And it’s kind of amazing to have rediscovered it. Understanding this is very healing. You can look with love upon the experiences that were so hard, because you know exactly what gift came from them.

As I brushed up my Root, I’ve found I don’t have to wear wrist bracers for carpal tunnel anymore. While carpal tunnel is supposed to be the domain of the Heart chakra, the swelling is due restricted circulation. Blood flow is Root chakra territory.  After getting such tangible results with a little Root attention, I’ll not neglect the rest.  Besides, the ideas folks are coming up with are too appealing not to try! We’re creating ritual and magical baths and dinners and herbal teas AND balancing our energy at the same time. And I’m getting ideas for Christmas gifts, too. What’s not to love?

I don’t think we’d lose the magic if a few more want to participate, so if you’d like to be part of it, say something! You can join the Secret Garden (where you get a copy of the Chakra Workbook) or just check get the workbook alone. I am already thinking of revising it to add some ideas from the discussions, but don’t worry. I’ll share all the updates with anybody who purchases the workbook, whenever I get it done. So either way, you get some of the charka love. I want y’all to feel good, too. Update: Not currently available.

Can you relate? Know somebody who can?

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  1. Dixie, I started copying quotes from your post to state next to it “YES!” and before I knew it, I had copied nearly all of it! So, I’ll just say, “YES!”
    The work with my Root Chakra is also ongoing. I’ve benefitted so much and grateful for the opportunity to amble through this with you and our little (but very powerful, loving, and knowledgeable) group.
    I’ve often wondered (as Scorpio Mercury is inclined to do) why…why make me so different and so strong willed and then put me in a place so rigid? It’s not necessarily my family (although they are not that accepting of my beliefs either), but my community. And then, WHY make me CARE about it? You know? Why not make me an outlier that could not care less? I’ve asked, where is my foundation? Where is my support?
    And I’ve learned, in the process, several things.
    1) You can be an outlier and be different and still be a part of community.
    2) You can BE the foundation for others. I’ve instilled a lot in my children which will spread to their children and so forth. I stopped a cycle of independence and began laying the blocks for a new matriarch.
    3) There are others who are less willful and less apt to speak up and they need someone like me to help give their voices an ear to hear them. That explained a lot to me about my location.
    And..there is plenty more. But you get the idea. Talk about Root work. I uncovered bitterness, feelings of rejection, lonliness and was able to let them free. I discovered a great deal of love and acceptance at my core which is something to celebrate not mourn about.
    It’s been a great experience. And, I’ve learned lessons through our collaboration that would have been lost venturing into this 100% on my own (I KNOW! Because I’ve worked on this stuff solo before!)
    So, yeah…I hear ya chica. I hear ya, loud and clear

    • Josi, that community bit has been a missing piece for me, too. So thank you. Being out of place is something I’ve wondered about for a long time. I’ve asked readers about it, for that matter (“You carry it with you, it’s not the town you’re in,” aggh!) But there have been moments where I have had glimpses that as a function of being who I am openly, it helps others feel more comfortable being who they are. I sure hope it makes a difference…like always, you’ve given me a lot to think about. Thank you!

  2. And, thank you Merc Rx. LOL. Edit to say “I stopped a cycle of co-dependence” not independence. The former is still up and running!

  3. I would love to join your group but at the moment I can’t afford it. Regardless, this post resonates with me. I too had to let my family go, although for different reasons. Essentially, I came from a family with a very dysfunctional idea about power and victimhood. No matter what happened, my family always expected me to sacrifice myself, even if someone else had treated me unjustly. This is a common misperception of power that’s rife in abusive families; there’s always this great need to shelter the abuser because the financial well-being of the family is often dependent on him. So you sacrifice your emotional needs in order to be physically taken care of. Well, there came a point in which this dynamic almost killed me. Literally. And there was still this insistence on the part of my family that I take the fuzzy end of the lollypop. (Sorry for all the cliched expressions.) To this day standing up for myself remains a challenge (albeit one that lessens with time, thank God!).

    I had to leave them or I wouldn’t survive. This was so damned hard because there is this pervasive idea that standing by your family makes you good (even if it’s the Manson family?), and that parting ways makes you selfish. Also, with Cancer rising, family is very important to me. Anyway, after some years I was able to disengage from their views of who I was. And now I have reestablished contact with some and the dynamic has changed. It’s a lot healthier, and there’s less enmeshment. I learned to stop idealizing the idea of family. After all, families are like people; some are good, some are really bad, and most fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. And, just like people, sometimes you have to cut ties with them and be alone.

    • It sounds like you had a much rougher trip than me…I’m so sorry to hear that, Marly. It’s good to know that you’ve come so far in healing from that, though…and I still absolutely believe that sometimes, the difficult family dynamics are a form of in vivo training for healer types.

      • Thanks, Dixie. Oh, I don’t know if rougher. Just different. There were a lot of great things my family gave me as well, even my abusive stepfather. For instance, he taught me to be practical and know the value of hard work. He also taught me how to ride a bike. And he served my ex-husband divorce papers when on one else could locate him. Trust me, my divorce dragged on so long that I was immensely grateful when my stepdad was able to finally jumpstart that process!

        I think painful experiences teach us that pain is survivable. And once you stop being afraid of pain, you are free because no one can hold it over you any longer, ya know? I’ve certainly found that I’ve had the most power when I was willing to lose and walk away.

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