10/13/11: Compassionate Zen | Ace of Cups

“Had we not loved ourselves at all, we could never have been obliged to love anything. So that self-love is the basis of all love.” –Thomas Traherne

ace-cupsToday’s Tarot forecast is the Ace of Cups – a nice change from the tension lately!  The Ace is a nice, warm, happy energy. The beginning, of a smooth emotional flow, you know? Shadowscapes shows a still, reflective water in the cup with fish guardians swimming about, keeping a watchful eye.

The Ace of Cups can speak to whome/dixiblog/domains/afoolsjourney.com/public_htmlver or whatever you’ve made friends with—it’s a place of comfort, joy, and ease. There’s no cynicism or distrust. As the root of the Water Element, this energy is the very seed, the heart of love.

The Ace of Cups would have you come from a loving place, whatever you’re doing. Let go of frustrations. Isn’t it a relief, not to have to make sure everyone is “all right” by your standards? You’re looking for that place of compassion, where you support what you can and release what you don’t wish to support. This is that sweet spot where Zen lurks.

Whatever concern you have, whatever worry or irritation, whatever fear that crops up? Pour love on it. Be compassionate, first with yourself. Because the love you give yourself? It’s the seed, from which all the love you have to share takes root. Being generous with yourself, there’s less to defend against, less motivation to blame. It makes it safe to open your heart. That’s where you grow.

Are you compassionate with yourself?

10/13/11: Compassionate Zen | Ace of Cups 1 Shadowscapes Tarot
by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law

Schedule a Tarot consultation with Dixie.

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Whose Knot to Untangle?

Whose Knot to Untangle? 2

Is this my knot?

You ever watch somebody try to untangle a knot? Within 30 seconds of the sight, there’s an almost overwhelming urge to grab the string and untangle it yourself. I don’t think it’s just a parent thing or a boundary thing or whatever, because I’ve seen even young children reach up insistently with the cry of, “Here! Let me do it!”

No matter our personal skills, no matter the skills of the untangler, we just know we’d do it better, faster, and without the stress of watching them try!

What makes you think you’d be so much better at untangling the knot, anyway? And don’t you have some of your own to untangle? (Sorry. I know. I’d rather work on your knots than mine, too.)

We see someone struggle, we want to help. We see someone with a question, we want to give an answer. It doesn’t seem to matter much who, although the drive’s stronger for those we care about–just believing we could creates a very strong urge to do just that.

It’s lovely to be of service. I’m mega-Virgo, I’m not gonna tell you to not offer assistance when it’s warranted. I am going to say that an offer is enough, though. Or better yet, look for an invitation. Just don’t try to grab the string out of the hands than are working on it. That’s disrespectful.

How are you about leaving other people to their own knots?

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Momma’s Real Superpower

Momma's Real Superpower 3My first major disillusionment came on the second day of Kindergarten. We had done a couple of papers in class, and I had been disappointed with less than perfect scores. (Virgo much?) But I’d finally gotten one with 100%! My first perfect paper. Absolutely giddy, I couldn’t wait to get home/dixiblog/domains/afoolsjourney.com/public_html to show it to my mom.

Except somewhere between school and home/dixiblog/domains/afoolsjourney.com/public_html, I realized, I couldn’t find the paper–I lost it. Oh no! I’d wanted to keep it forever! I’d wanted to show everybody and display it on the refrigerator, for God’s sakes. That’s what you do with perfection.

Sobbing and utterly devastated at my misfortune, I did what I always did whenever I had a problem I didn’t know how to fix: I asked Mom. She tried to comfort me, sure, and said maybe I’d find it later (I didn’t). But when push came to shove, she did not produce a miracle for retrieving the lost paper.

What?! Uh oh. Mom wasn’t magic. There were some things she could not do. And one of them was bring my paper back.

I don’t care if you think I was dense; I had cause. Up to that point, she’d had a perfect record. What was I supposed to think?I had empirical evidence, damn it! My world shifted as I had to make room in it for her imperfection as well as my own.

Hell. If she had her flaws, who was going to make sure nothing ever went wrong?!

Yeah. I know. You can laugh at me now if you want, but I’ll just mutter something about Karma if you do.

That shift was nothing, though, compared to being on the Momma side of the fence. The first time you see your child hurting–really hurting, not just lost-paper hurting, but the real, life-can-suck-and-I-hope-to-Hell-they-get-over-it-hurting–and you cannot fix, erase it, or make it all go away…well, there are just barely words, you know? A weight on your chest,  sheer heaviness. It calls to a primal place, deep down in the belly of your soul.

Which would be bad enough, but it’s impossible to be a mother without the failure to protect your child from pain. I don’t care how good you are. You can help them dodge a lot of bullets but not every one. So this is a guaranteed visit for every mother, no passing go.

You cannot live and love and be a fully present human being without loss. It’s as predictable as breathing. Some do amazing things with the skills  build through pain, developing compassion, insight, or appreciation. Others get edgey and hard, and nobody can decide for you which you’ll be. The hard stuff  chisels us. But it’s all part of the whole. So we work with the marble we’ve got.

But you know, even if you can’t prevent pain, love sure smooths out a lot of the rough edges. And that’s something Momma can always do. Nobody can love you better than your Momma. It’s her true superpower!

Do you believe in Momma Superpowers?

 

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How to Be Perfect in One, Easy Step!

Perfect Day Wall Mural

You are perfect, right here. Right now.

There’s the kind of perfect nobody is–never making mistakes. It’s the “you’ll never be good enough /smart enough/strong enough” perfect. That kind of perfect is perfectly awful!

And there is the fully here, fully engaged, “right-here-right-now” kind of perfect. It’s the “I am where I’m supposed to be” perfect. It’s a no-regrets way to live. Doing the best you can with the day you have in front of you. Loving and living and being as kind as you know how.

That kind of perfect can make mistakes, because missteps and detours are part of the journey. That kind of perfect can say, “Thank you” and “I’m sorry,” because it doesn’t have to be completely right and completely alone. That kind of perfect can comfort and be comforted, give and receive. There’s a lot you can do and be if you don’t always have to be right.

As promised, here’s your one, easy step:

1. ♥ Remain engaged, with love. ♥ It really is that simple.

What do you think makes perfection?

Photo credit: Wall Mural.

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Remembering Zen Master Kitty

Remembering Zen Master Kitty 4

“I have known many Zen masters in my life. All of them cats.” –my friend, Cyndy

This is Vega. He was always in my lap, snuggled up next to me, or laying on top of me, pawing me in the face to remind me it was lovin’ time. He understood contentment on a cellular level and radiated love. He really was a Zen master!

Vega snuggled up like a little baby, all on his own.

He snuggled up like that on his own.

We did talk, you know. We understood one another, very well. That connection made it especially hard when he passed, but I’m nonetheless very grateful for our time together.

He comes to visit–I feel him climb into bed with us, or brush past my leg. One or the other of our kitties often sits in the hallway, with high-pitched yelps when he’s nearby.

I find it comforting, feeling his energy when he stops in. How could you not love the little furball, after all?

Do you have a special connection with a pet?

p.s. Happy (belated) Memorial Day. Here’s to loving memories.

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Where’s the Feng Shui Lottery-Winning Fishpond?

Feng shui fishpond

Lucky Koi?

My husband was flipping through channels, pausing on a show about lottery winners. One winner was proudly attributing her winnings to her Feng Shui fishpond, with the water flowing right in toward the door.

My husband leans back with a mildly disturbed look and sort of grunts.

“What?”

“Feng shui.” He shakes his head. “Where’s our fishpond?! How come you didn’t tell me about that? We have no fishpond. We have no winning lottery ticket! What’s wrong with this picture?!”

“Ooops. Sorry. Guess I was slacking!”

Evidently, it’s my job to keep him posted about these things. What’s your job?

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