Whose Knot to Untangle?

Whose Knot to Untangle? 2

Is this my knot?

You ever watch somebody try to untangle a knot? Within 30 seconds of the sight, there’s an almost overwhelming urge to grab the string and untangle it yourself. I don’t think it’s just a parent thing or a boundary thing or whatever, because I’ve seen even young children reach up insistently with the cry of, “Here! Let me do it!”

No matter our personal skills, no matter the skills of the untangler, we just know we’d do it better, faster, and without the stress of watching them try!

What makes you think you’d be so much better at untangling the knot, anyway? And don’t you have some of your own to untangle? (Sorry. I know. I’d rather work on your knots than mine, too.)

We see someone struggle, we want to help. We see someone with a question, we want to give an answer. It doesn’t seem to matter much who, although the drive’s stronger for those we care about–just believing we could creates a very strong urge to do just that.

It’s lovely to be of service. I’m mega-Virgo, I’m not gonna tell you to not offer assistance when it’s warranted. I am going to say that an offer is enough, though. Or better yet, look for an invitation. Just don’t try to grab the string out of the hands than are working on it. That’s disrespectful.

How are you about leaving other people to their own knots?

  • Regina says:

    I used to feel compelled to at least offer a way for others to untie their knots, if not actually trying to do it myself.

    Then I discovered boundaries — my own! And I realized that if I wanted my boundaries respected, I had to respect other’s boundaries the same way.

    Now, I let people untie their own knots. Unless I’m asked or invited to help, and then I do my best to be of service!

  • Kim says:

    Goes right along with that Six of Cups, doesn’t it?

    Ok, so I’ll take another side. (Libra, yanno.) If it’s MY stuff to do, and someone wants to help ME, the urge to do it myself is overpowering. ‘Cause I want it done MY way. Easier to not ask for help.
    Which is a whole ‘nother conundrum. But kinda the other side of the coin.

    But yes, I’m really getting the hang of letting people untie their own knots.
    (Sorry. Did I hijack that?)

    I’ll just have a and go watch :tv:
    There. There’s another smiley I’ve never used. Don’t mind me. I’m goofy tonight.

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