Eight of Swords: Self-Driven Perspective

Years ago, I was getting a reading at a psychic fair, which mostly consisted of me complaining vigorously about the judgy small town in which I lived.

I’d seen this reader before, and knew she was good. And I really, really wanted to move away from all this bullshit and was hoping she’d see a path for me to do that. So I was hanging on her every word, looking for clues.

“It wouldn’t make any difference, if you moved,” she said.

I was dumbfounded.

“You take yourself with you wherever you go.”

I wasn’t too happy with that answer. She was supposed to tell me how to escape, damn it!

So I complained about the reading to Captain Virgo. I was in a pretty complaining mood, evidently.

I was even more dumbfounded when he agreed with the reader. Agh!

It probably took me a few months to get the point and more like years to completely internalize it. So let me save you the trouble.

The issue was never judgy people in my small town. The issue was ME being insecure enough to care. I had to be judging myself first in order to notice or give weight to anyone else finding fault, if they even were. If you’re already judging yourself, you see everyone else through that lens, you know?

I was judging myself, and hence attracted those experiences everywhere. I followed up by finding fault with others for not making me feel better about myself. In fact, I was one of those judgy people, judging others for what I perceived to be their judging of me. It’s a full-on feedback loop and I was responsible for all of it.

Now, I could have altered my self-talk to soften it. “Oh well, everybody has their own perspective. They can do their thing and I can do mine. It doesn’t matter if anyone approves of me or not. Feeling good about myself is my job.” I could have focused on feeling good about myself, period, and left them to think whatever it is they thought. The sensation of being judged would have faded away.

What if we decide it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks? What if we decided that we don’t actually know why anyone else says or does what they do, anyway? What if we make our own commitment to be kind and loving to ourselves first, and let the rest of  our experience  shape around THAT energy?

Because I can tell you now, it will make a difference and fast. You don’t even have to move to a new town!

You get what you’re putting out. If you don’t like what it feels like you’re getting, change what you’re putting out. Next week would be a great time to practice this.

Next Week in Tarot

Eight of Swords: Self-Driven Perspective 1

For outlook, we have the Eight of Swords and advice, the reversed Ace of Swords from my favorite working deck, the Radiant Rider Waite (in a tin).

The Eight of Swords is an old friend to me–or maybe it’s “frenemy.” Because I’ve seen it so many times in drawing for myself, I know this card very well. It points to self-restriction. The swords are nothing more than thoughts, or more precisely fears, all the reasons this lady believes she is unable to make progress. The water beneath her feet show us her perspective is based upon emotion as much if not more than fact. In reality, she’s loosely bound and the castle is visible in the distance. Even those swords don’t fully encircle her, but she doesn’t know it because she’s not letting herself see options.

The reversed Ace of Swords suggests not overthinking. An important detail is likely to be missed if you think you know all there is to know here. An opportunity for escape or progression isn’t being noted, probably due to an assumption that is simply untrue. Both these cards point to a restricted field of vision.

The coming week is a perfect time for revisiting assumptions, looking at those situations where you feel you have no options and asking yourself how much fear is driving that feeling. I’m not saying you have to take a leap of faith. Far from it. Simply acknowledging there may be a route forward and giving yourself permission to see it is all that’s required. Let the universe sort it out from there.

Whatever you want to get? PUT OUT THERE and start in the mirror. It’s the only way that works. I know, we’ve tendency to point fingers and assign blame but forget being “right.” Forget who’s at fault. Forget what you think you know.

Be what you want in your life and watch what happens (and fast). It’s the only way that works.

Where might you alter your perspective?

If you’re looking for a consult, you know where to find me.

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Focus, Sparky! Ace of Swords Reversed

I’m laughing a little to myself, because it’s taken me all day to write this post.

Focus, Dixie. Focus.

There are a lot of ways to tell an Ace of Swords story. I’ve mulled many. But I guess I’ll just let you fill in your own.

Focus, Sparky! Ace of Swords Reversed 2

The Ace of of Swords is a message. It’s focus. It’s an idea–and a good one, too! The idea’s strength comes from it’s clarity. It’s pure and singular.

In the beginning most ideas start pure. Boiled down to the essence of the idea.

And it’s inspired–a gift from the clouds, marked by Yods. The hand of God has presented you with a thought. This is the very definition of “inspiration” we’re talking.

So what are you going to do with this gift of an inspiration? Are you gonna muddy it up with ancient history and how it’s never worked before? Are you going to argue against it (and hence yourself) by demanding to know when and how and conjuring up all sorts of imaginary problems you don’t have?

Or are you going to focus on the essence of what you want and let the momentum of the idea and the enthusiasm for that idea carry you forward? Because that’s your choice, here and now.

You live what you focus on. #OnMyRadar Click To Tweet

Because you can zero in on the rejection and the slights (perceived or otherwise) and the lost opportunity or what’s gone. And you’ll feel pretty crummy. Or you can hone in, instead, on what is going right, and what you want, and the new opportunities on the horizon that are opening up for you.

I think you know which I’d recommend. But as always, it’s your call.

And in case you didn’t know, any time that’s not now is not currently relevant. What you did last week or what you’ll do next week doesn’t matter. It’s time to zero in.

Be a honing device and beep yourself right in line with what you want. Because you can do that, right now. Focus, focus, focus!

How’s your focus?

This week’s forecast features the Radiant Rider Waite and Dixie. Give a holler if you want to schedule a consult.

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Purposeful Destruction: Tarot Forecast, Week of 4/10 – 4/16, 2017

I was contemplating, just how much we spend our lives reinventing ourselves. You know? In so many ways, on a day-by-day basis.

We’re children. We’re grade-schoolers. We’re college students or girlfriends or bus drivers or parents or woo-woo folks or, or, or… We’re either victim or victor courtesy of the definition we give our stories.

Our stories help us evolve. Choose wisely. Click To Tweet

But some stories no longer work. They were appropriate in their time, but conditions change–the most often, us. We evolve, grow, and that’s a wonderful thing. The awkward and uncomfortable bits can get messy.

It’s easier when you realize what’s going on. This week? It felt like that, to me. Our stories are shifting around. The outside world is not grounded, and there is a definite clearing of the decks.

Full Moon in Libra (4/10). The lights are coming up.

Your job is to reinvent yourself.

Transcript from the video below.


Hey! So this last week has been kinda nuts, huh? What are you gonna do?!

I will do my best, though, to see what I can get for you for some Tarot guidance for the week ahead.

Hey, this is Dixie from A Fool’s Journey dot com. I am here with some weekly Tarot for you, for the week of April, what is it? 4th through 10? [No, Dixie, it’s not.] 2017. I hid my cheat sheet.

I have, this week, the Osho Zen deck. Now I prefer to read these guys without reversals because it’s a nontraditional deck and it can get a little sloppy if you start bringing too many things into it. But we’ll take a look anyway.

Purposeful Destruction: Tarot Forecast, Week of 4/10 - 4/16, 2017 3

[1] Ten of Wands, Moon, Hierophant [Advice/Ten of Swords] [2] Death, King of Pentacles [3] Ace of Swords

Ho, ho, ho. Okay. The first thing that I want to say is, we start the week with a sense of being overwhelmed! Like carrying a weight of the world on our shoulders. It’s important that you, you let go a little bit. You wanna realize that being very upset or very worked up about things you have no absolutely no control over is probably not your best plan. But what are you gonna do?

Moving into it, as, as the week progresses, there is a shift of the energy. I do feel like it gets a little bit lighter. But not fluffy. Okay? Absolutely not fluffy. We’ve got Death! But we also have Abundance, which is the King of Pentacles.

Okay, so. Understand that what’s going on, that all of the things that are happening right now are a function of stuff getting rooted out or changed in the world. That Death is associated with Scorpio, Pluto energy, so we’re talking about death and rebirth! Transformation. What’s rotting and icky and old getting rooted out. So, is it a good thing? Well, it’s a necessary thing for life to continue. Does it feel good? Not usually. But what are you gonna do?

Now the outcome of this, um, for the outcome, we have Consciousness. Hmmmmmm.

So the point of all of this is there is a new awareness or a new ability to deal with things that comes through the course of this. Now since this a forecast for the collective, I’m expecting to see this, kind of on a large scale, but also on kind of a more micro scale. So macro, micro. So, whatever feels like it’s just being torn up and uprooted and messed around, something fierce in your life, understand that there’s a reason for it. And you’ll come with a new awareness, and ability, once it’s done.

Okay? Let’s do a take-home/dixiblog/domains/afoolsjourney.com/public_html message, or a, a advice/overview. Okay.

For that, I’ve got rebirth. Which is, I believe the ten of swords [it is]. No, wait a minute. Yeah, that’s the ten of wands. Eh. Anyway, rebirth.

So, it’s a good time to reinvent yourself.

Now if you follow astrology, you know that several planets are either retrograde or going retrograde. We’ve got Mercury retrograde, starting the 9th, I believe it is? So, there’s going to be a lot of review and looking back and then adjusting and fitting it into current circumstance. Understand that’s kind of a part of what’s going on. Doesn’t mean there’s something wrong.

So this week feels a little heavy to me, but in the big picture, in the bigger, broader view, it’s, I think it’s gonna be a good thing. Although I’m an eternal optimist, so what are you gonna do?

So that’s my forecast for the week. I hope it’s helpful to you. Yay! And if it’s not, maybe next time or maybe somebody else suits you. I don’t know.

Take care. Peace out from the Zen Goddess.


This week’s Tarot Forecast features the Osho Zen Tarot. Hit Dixie up for a personal consultation.

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Drive Yourself: Tarot Forecast, Jan 16 – 22, 2017

One of the gifts I want to give myself  is a smoother ride, through life.

Happier. More joy. More connected. More in the flow, in the zone. More laughter. More freedom. More excitement. More fun.

Get the most out of this delightful experience.

And in the quest to hover on center, in day-to-day awareness, it’s becoming increasingly evident: the less I’m about campaigning the world to correct itself according to my specs, and the more I’m about just letting the rest of the world be as they will, the easier Zen comes. I guess stabs at controlling the inherently uncontrollable doesn’t contribute to Zen.

I don’t think of myself as being judgy or especially critical (because I’m not), but it can creep up sometimes in little ways. I’ll get the urge to set somebody straight either directly or even just in my head. I’ll notice I’m not feeling so good and say, “Hey, what’s up with this?!”

And I’m glad for each time it does. It alerts me to an opportunity to find more peace. It is a GIFT, getting that nudge.

‘Cause for the most part, I’ve learned to live and let live. I’m pretty damn good at it. But when I’m a little off kilter, even just a smidge, I’d like to know early on so I can make adjustments. I like to drive my own car, that way.

Be what you want to see. #OnMyRadar Click To Tweet

Drive Yourself: Tarot Forecast, Jan 16 - 22, 2017 4

Theme this week is about who is driving the car. Who’s input are you seeking? Are you eyes on your own lane?

Monday, Four of Cups rx: With the giant hand offering a drink, this image suggests a potential for misunderstanding or delusions. Somebody is drunk. Dreaming it up or down, either one. Sometimes, people avoid acting on longstanding dreams because they don’t want to risk the possibility of losing the dream. This has kind of the same feeling. Some confusion or lack of clarity in terms of what you expect vs. future visions. Take it easy, slow and not too seriously today.

Tuesday, The Chariot: Awesome card here–a road opening, opportunities to make progress. Some movement may be indirect, sidestepping obstacles. But we have some open roads, so take the turn and keep going! Good day.

Wednesday, Ten of Wands rx: Delegate. Hand off responsibilities that are not yours–and expect any responsibilities that are really yours that have been handed off come home/dixiblog/domains/afoolsjourney.com/public_html to roost. Do what’s your and let what doesn’t matter go.

Thursday, Three of Pentacles rx: Living by committee won’t work so well. Your choices may not sit well with the collective. If someone comes to you with their desires for you, acknowledge and appreciate the care that prompts it, and then go on and do what is in your own heart anyway. Do not try to control and do not allow yourself to be controlled. Acknowledge the good intentions while still making your own choices.

Friday, Tower rx: I’m seeing a stack of blocks that wobble but don’t fall. Weaknesses and issues with structure will be more visible than normal. Insights about circumstances that are “iffy” will be visible. You’ll be able to spot this today so use that info.

Saturday, Page of Swords rx: Running with scissors? Not the best plan. Words can come across more harshly than intended. Don’t worry about it. Just accept what’s useful, constructive, and discard the rest. Be aware, your own words may be heard more harshly than you were aware or intending. Mind your words.

Sunday, Ace of Swords: Clarity to end the week. Clear idea, communication, a clear message, a clear thought. Muddled info from earlier in the week should come into sharper focus. Good!

Overview/Advice, The Hermit:Bathing lady knows how to live it up! Any conflict and drama comes up? Step back. Takes some time for you. Don’t try to fix it, fix it, change it, change it. Step back and get clarity for yourself first, foremost and exclusively. You cannot impart clarity to others, you can only inspire it through your own clarity. So step back, retreat, and get a handle on your own grounding. Everything is easier when you’re grounded.

Affirmation: “If I am resisting ‘evil,’ I am attracting ‘evil.'” Maybe you don’t agree with this, but one version most will be able to see. If you’re very focused on a particular issue or worry, that issue becomes a bigger part of your experience and you’ll see it everywhere.  Whatever your major focuses of concern, you’ll be experiencing evidence of it, the essence of it becoming part of your day-to-day experience, because that’s where your focus is. The more you focus, the more momentum you add to the overall energy. It’s up to you to decide how you want to live. But it’s something to be aware of. You do not need to be absorbed in a problem to be a part of the solution–problems and solutions are very different energies.

If you’re bothered by the hate in the world, then talking about all the hate and sharing examples, and being outraged and upset does not drop the sum total of hate in the world, but does make it a bigger part of your in-the-moment experience. It immerses you in the very thing you don’t want. Whereas shifting focus to what you’d like to see instead–kindness and love and understanding–that is the energy of the solution. You are bathing in what you want and helping the collective make the shift by adding your light to the path, easing the way for those that would follow you.

Align with what you want, not against what you don’t.

That is how I’m looking to stay in my zone. Then it doesn’t matter, what someoone else believes. All that matters is if I’m living in close proximity to my own beliefs. If I want to see more kindness in the world, then I can be more kind. If I want to see more joyfulness in the world, I can actively participate in making some of that. I get to play in the energy I want more of, and be the change I want to see. It doesn’t get any better than that.


I’m gonna close down the 2107 Zodiac Year-Ahead special after this week, so if you’re of a mind to get one, now’s the time.

This week’s forecast uses the Housewives Tarott and some kind of Abraham-Hicks deck. Ha!

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Easy Does It: Tarot Forecast, Sept 5 – 11, 2016

I’ve been nurturing a new practice of late, looking to lift my personal vibration. Tuning and turning up my connection, you know? Becoming more sure-footed in knowing and consciously, deliberately guiding my emotional state rather than leaving it up to the whims of whatever conditions I’m observing. Fostering a less conditional, more internal brand of happy. Intentionally setting my tone and looking for confirmation of it. As you expect and look for confirmation, it turns it up.

If you do this for a while, you’ll notice things. You’ll begin to see the output of your vibration in what shows up in your life and how smoothly things work out. Not everything shows up in the form you’d want–but “problems” become far less problematic and more just part of the road. Less emergency, more Universa- GPS reroute. More faith and more knowing, it IS all alright, always.

We’re all always on the path but sometimes? The Universe provides us a shortcut through some muck. But it doesn’t mean we’re not still traveling.

Hold in your mind the image of a feather, slowly drifting to and fro from the sky. The feather floats this way and that, based on how the breeze is blowing. If you want that feather, you can either watch and lightly wait for it to land. Or you can try to chase it down coming in like gangbusters–the faster you run and grasp, the more likely all that motion is going to cause that feather to float the other way and maybe elude you.

EASY does it. Watch the feathers come down softly and then go over and pick it right up. That’s how you handle this week.

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As you might expect in eclipse season during a Mercury retrograde period, there’s a clear sense here of rethinking and reviewing a whole lot. I’d advise a slower pace this week, building in plenty of time to recoup and relax into the flow. This will net much better results than acting out frustrated impulses.

Take action in the EMOTIONAL state you want to carry through outcome #LOA #OnMyRadar Click To Tweet

Monday, Two of Swords: Take your time as you move forward today, and don’t speak or act on a decision until you have a clear, emotional indication of which route to go. Meaning, make the choice that gives you the most positive emotion as you’re mulling it over. The energy you bring into the decision will carry through to the results.

Tuesday, Six of Pentacles: This is a great time for generosity–even (especially) the kind that doesn’t require you cracking open your wallet. Give freely of good intention, benefits of the doubt for all, assuming the best, and taking nothing but love “personally.” This advice works best when applied from the inside first, going out. Start in the mirror and then share, share, share the good will.

Wednesday, Six of Swords: Possibly tired and a bit worn down, we’re still getting where we’ve intended to go.  You job is to just keep doing what you’re doing and take good care of yourself in the process. Anything that makes you laugh is particularly potent medicine right now.

Thursday, Justice Rx: Be aware the inclination to get all wrapped up in what’s “fair” and “right” and “should be” today. Honestly? It may cross your brain more than once, but pretty much nobody sports righteous indignation gracefully. It’s just not that graceful and it usually feels pretty crummy. Don’t look to re-calibrate the world and try to force others to fit into your idea of balanced and rightness. Recalibrate yourself, get your own bearings and stay solidly rooted in your own energy. The balance needed is within, always.

Friday, Eight of Cups: In this, some may see sadness or not caring anymore. Me? I see freedom, big and bold freedom. There’s been an undercurrent of bother this week about how the rest of the world is not doing as it “should” and therefore, it somehow falls upon our shoulders to set the world straight. That’s a futile and ugly endeavor if ever I saw it. A sweet release of all this baggage makes it so much easier to just BE who you want to be without bothering about whether the rest of the world is who you want them to be. You know? With that approach, you can continue on your own journey unimpeded by baggage that is not of your packing.

Saturday, Ace of Swords Rx: Less thinking, more feeling. Less talking, more listening. Less planning, more adapting. FEEL your way through today.

Sunday, High Priestess: Make sure you give yourself a chance to plug in and feel good! Imagination and visualizations are especially powerful right now. Get yourself in a good-feeling place and play with ideas of what you’d like to manifest in your life. Then allow inspirations to come as they will over the next few days. Quiet downtime, nature breaks and naps are all potential sources of wonderful inspiration.

Overview/Advice, Page of Pentacles Rx, Strength: Strength popped out of the deck before I started to throw cards, so I added her as a modifier to the advice section. This is a perfect combination for Mercury retrograde, when plans and communications tend to go a bit wonky. Gentle, persistent patience is what’s required this week! A light touch, but coming back to double check all that’s important to you. Understand you may have to do and redo a little here and there, so expect it and remain calm throughout. That will get you there.

20160904_123044_HDRAffirmation: I can create my world as I choose. I know, I know. “Why would I create this?” That’s what some would ask.

No matter what your situation, how you look at it–how you think about it and hence, how you come to feel about it–completely determines the emotional tone of the experience. If a thousand people share an experience of the same event, there will be a thousand and two different experiences of that event. (A couple are gonna be wafflers, man.) Your emotional experiences are INTERNAL, not asserted upon you from the outside world. And that is how you begin to create your world as you choose it. Funny thing about that, though. As you line up the energy to experience what you’ve got in the best, most optimistic way that you can? The external circumstances begin to line up to match.

How you doing out there?

Radiant Rider-Waite® in a Tin for the draw this week, punctuated by Abraham-Hicks Well-Being Cards.. Get my book, Everyday Tarot Archives here, or hit me up for a consult. ♥

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Burning: Weekly Flow Tarot, May 23 – 29, 2016

You do the best you can, and then you let it go. Your best? Is good enough. It is, quite literally, ALL you can do. I always do the best I know how.

Some days, that best is decidedly better than other days. But it’s always what I’ve got. That’s how I can sleep at night.

Doing that will serve you well this week. There are plenty out there who do what they can get by with. The difference is observable, even if they think they’re fooling everybody else. We may not say anything. But we take note and don’t really trust you all that much.

Personally, I’d rather be the best-doer than the less-doer. It’s more work but my soul remains firmly intact. This week, you can be a best-doer or a less-doer. But the fires of passion burn brightest for the best-doers.

May 23 - 30 2016

These cards strike me as being a bit like a game of Simon Says.

Simon says, “Stop. Consider.”

Okay, Simon says, “Go! Now.”

Simon Says, “Rethink, Review.”

The mood isn’t overly sweet or ridiculously harsh. But there is a very stop-and-go feel about it, and there does seem to be an awful lot going on at the same time.

I’m getting images of burning brush–not out of control fires. More like clearing out land to clean and prepare for other uses. In fact, that image may be quite useful to us this week. Think of anything “burning down” as clearing the way for repurposing the energy that structure required to maintain.

Burning bridges? Burning passions? Burning the house down? Hotheadedness? Slow burns? Fire in the belly? It could take many forms. But we’re looking at the fire.

Magick work with candles specifically and the fire element in general is favored. Fire is a great source of purification, often serving as necessary preparation for renewal. So keep that image firmly in mind if things get dicey, okay? Fire energy will bring clarity, purification and prepare for renewal. Make sure your fires are constructive.

Monday, Dedicated Effort – Ace of Swords: One thing at a time, one idea at a time. Laser sharp. Reason it out, think it through and then? ACT. Focus, think, act; focus, think, act. That’s the formula. Focus, think, act.

Tuesday, Love Abounds – Four of Swords: The gift of connected with loved ones is that you can RELAX. You’re safe. You can assume you’re being heard and seen through a compassionate filter. Provide this safety net or benefit from it or both. Because today is about finding peace in trusting the love.

Wednesday, Embrace/Sacral Chakra – Seven of Swords rx: Not much gets by the gut, unless you try to talk yourself out of your body’s wisdom. I’ll often say this, but today I’m saying it louder: do a gut check and pay attention to the feeling temperature it returns. What feeds back joy, embrace. What doesn’t, eschew. Very, very simple here. Don’t make it harder than it is.

The gut always knows. #OnMyRadar Click To Tweet

Thursday, Darkest Fears – Four of Pentacles rx: Worries of being unstable. Financial insolvency, physical instability or just flat-out crazy could be among the fears. Know they are fears, not reality. You may not be functioning at maximum capacity, but the elements of stability and sanity are already on hand. Acknowledge fears directly to give them less power. Use those fears as signposts, to where you need to shore up your personal support and self-care efforts. It’s like peeking at your life to see which seams are overstretched so you can strengthen and mend. In that way, you can let these fears become a gift, okay?

Friday, Giving & Receiving/Throat Chakra – The Hermit rx:  Very clear indication to share your truth–and just as importantly, listen to truths being shared. But remember, the Hermit is not a loud, soapbox-toting kind of guy. He’s honest, yes, to a fault. But also, he’s quite soft-spoken and not judgmental. The Hermit doesn’t need to shout. His confidence comes from study, allowing him to speak with wisdom and authority. He understands not everyone is interested in or able to grasp his deeper meaning. That’s fine. It’s right, you know? It’s appropriate. The right ones will hear. Today? Say your piece humbly. Listen to others, humbly. The right ones will hear, on both accounts.

Saturday, Rebuild – The World rx: Clean up and restructuring efforts. Reorganization, streamlining, reworking processes all go well today. Starting point? Wherever something significant has been left out. Wherever we’ve been less-than-completely responsible. Whatever has been most clearly allowed to let slide. Messes can be fixed, but for the fixes to stick, you have to remain focused on doing it completely, and doing the right, responsible thing. Bigger picture perspective can guide you.

Sunday, Nurture/Heart Chakra – The Magician rx: Reach for gratitude, love and compassion, particularly with stressful or difficult situations where you feel no or little personal control. Regain balance by feeding your heart today. It’s healing energy. Drink up!

Overview/Advice, Strengthening Bonds – Queen of Wands: Throughout the course of this week, the quality of connections are on display. Be a strong ally and utilizes your allies as well. The Queen of Wands has been hanging around lately, I’ve noticed. She’s a fierce woman, no nonsense. Loyalty is among her admirable qualities. This week, look to be a loyal ally and express gratitude for your allies. The process makes you closer.

Affirmation – Fire: “Fire, the energies of the creative force in its purest form, represents purification or ‘burning away the dross.’ The Phoenix was reborn from the ashes. Honor the creative fire within. Feed your passions, fan the flames higher.” Pulling Fire for the affirmation echos the Queen of Wands advice for the week. Purity of the heart, passionate faith, and loyalty serve us well. Of course here, there is the added dimension of creative work. Got a big case of the feels? Art it out, baby! Art it out.

The answers this week lie in purification, passions and preparation for the new by burning through the old.

Are you feeling the Fire(s)?

This forecast features the Tarot Heart Oracle, the Tarot Nova, and Wisdom of the Crone divination cards. If you enjoyed it, you’d probably like Dixie’s Book, Everyday Tarot Archives, or better yet, a personal consultation.

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