Would Mom approve?

photo credit  hobvias sudoneighm

photo credit hobvias sudoneighm

“What do you think?” was the question, asked maybe the dozenth time.  I lost track.

“Does it matter? Would it change anything?”

A lot of times when that question is asked, it doesn’t matter and it wouldn’t change anything. So why do we ask it?

On my radar: approval issues.  As in who wants approval, who needs it, and what we’re willing to do to secure it.

I saw this as general topic emerging via themes of those year-end Zodiac spreads last year, and figured the Aries/Libra axis eclipses may be coming into play, among other astrological events.

Maybe it’s all this Cancer energy: the grand collective has mommy issues!

“How is she REALLY doing? Did we offend him? Are you having trouble with your weight again? I don’t like the way she talks to her mother. This isn’t mine–it’s for my grandson.”

Every freakin’ which way it goes, I am seeing the world just swimming in who approves of whom and it’s knife-wielding cousin, who doesn’t approve of whom. Even me, the new aged, pink-haired hippie chick, is not immune. Even when it’s not important or informed or meaningful approval. It still IS.

The Universe sure has a way of driving home a point, doesn’t it?

Everybody wants to make Mom proud, you know? More or less. But sometimes, Mom is nuts. Sometimes, Mom just has different ideas than you. Sometimes, Mom means well but doesn’t have a clue.

And sometimes–like if I’m your mom–Mom is AWESOME but she tries to stay the Hell out of your business. I have to do what I think is right, best I can. And if I cannot manage somebody else’s differing opinion, I’m in trouble! Even if it’s my mother. And if I need somebody else’s opinion to appease me, to reassure me I’m doing right, I’m in trouble.

Reminds me of this week’s Tarot Flow forecast: the energy to avoid for Monday was the Empress. Ironic, considering that Cancer New Moon coming up.

Maybe that new moon is an opportunity, to think about how we mother. Who do you mother, and how? (And I don’t care about biological equipment; we all “mother” somehow.) Who do you look to mother you? Are they good at it?

I have more questions than answers today. But that’s okay. It means I’m thinking things through.

Also? I don’t need anybody’s approval but my own. And I approve of this message. Har!

Are you seeing collective “mommy issues”?

Get a handle on your own “mommy issues” or  whatever. Schedule a session with Dixie.

Photoshopped Mother’s Day

(c) Michelle Dennis 2008

(c) Michelle Dennis 2008

For some, Mother’s Day is not a day of  joy. It can be a time of sadness and acknowledging loss–missing a mother passed on or lamenting Mother’s flaws–she who may not have been as kind, loving, or sane as traditional maternal veneration would dictate. Some will mourn separations or replay “what if” scenarios ad infinitum. This tends to leave people hurt and feeling left out while others wax poetic on the beauty of their own mother-child relationships.

First of all, the snapshot of motherhood you see on a day like today is heavily Photoshopped. People cherry-pick recollections to support a specific premise. There’s nothing wrong with that, but you don’t want to be comparing your worst memories to heavily edited highlight reels. It cannot measure up.

Not saying some don’t have (or are) great moms! Not saying sometimes exceptionally human moms don’t have their worthwhile qualities, worthy of appreciation. Just realize sometimes this day is ruled by an abundance of rose colored glasses, so don’t let that glorious glow of maternal bliss blind you to the truth. Not “everybody else” had (or is) the world’s greatest mom, even if it feels that way.

I prefer to see Mother’s Day differently. I want to focus on the energy, the nature of what is being celebrated as opposed to the details. While some of us will not have a birth mother standing in the wings applauding our every achievement, I’d wager not a person on the face of the planet is untouched by the energy, the concepts themselves.

The ideal of motherhood is about creating, nurturing and supporting. It’s about giving birth and bringing  “baby” to adulthood with loving care. The concept of motherhood is revered precisely for an abundance of committed, creative and loving energy. It’s about what “mama” means collectively, not who your mama was personally.

Women give birth to children. But anyone can give birth to ideas. We can love and nurture ourselves, our family, our friends, our pets, strangers or even endeavors. We can appreciate those who love, support and encourage us through life’s ups and downs. THAT energy is what is so precious and worthy of celebration, regardless of the source.

Today, I am feeling grateful for the love and emotional support I’ve been blessed with, regardless of the source. Today, I’m hoping to share love and emotional support with my loved ones. Today, I focus on the gifts from my relationships with my own mother and children have given me, without worry over shortcomings. Today, I care for and nurture myself because I know that is a beautiful and worthwhile endeavor.

Today, I’m having a “Happy Mother’s Day.” No Photoshop required.

How about you?

Weekly Forecast 7/22: Do Not Meddle, Meddlers! King Pentalces, Page Swords, Queen Cups

Uh oh; is there a fix-it urge in ya?

Short version: It looks to be a rather intense week. The urge to take care of others is strong, loved ones or even random, seemingly needy strangers. But trying to make decisions for other people is disrespectful and also pretty much asking for grief because you don’t  control those decisions. Support as you can, say your piece once with whatever persuasion you can muster, and then detach from the outcomes…

Are you feeling this?

08/10/12: Mama’s Preggers Again | Empress


“It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.” –Erma Bombeck

Oh man, Mama’s back! At least this is one of my favorite versions of the Empress (Venus). From Legacy of the Divine, she appears as a beautiful, pregnant motherly figure, surrounded by the harvest, and transforming life of many kinds.

What was that about Mommy issues again? Oy.

I AM a mother and a daughter. I’ve got a 10th house moon, so I do a bit of “mothering” (Moon) in public (10th House). It’s a role I never sought but feel natural in, all the same. Like I’m built for it even if I wasn’t looking for it. And it’s not an easy job, any side of the fence.

Mothering is one of…”those things,” you know? It can bring feelings so  profound, at times it feels impossible to grasp in a single, fell swoop, let alone put into words. It may be the same for fathering. I just don’t know because hey, I’m not one!

What I do know: you do the best you know how, as Mama or offspring. You can love without agreeing. You support what you feel good about supporting, and let go of what you don’t. Be as kind as you can in the process.

Because whatever becomes of the mother/child relationship, whatever joys or pains come therein, I can say without hesitation that it will impact both parties for the rest of their days. People carry this around. It changes how someone gives love and receives love and cares for others and cares for themselves. You neither want to be the one waking up middle-aged realizing they have some Mommy issues, nor the one going to bed, knowing your child will be that person. It’s worth trying to get right.

One thing that I find very telling about the Empress—she’s always pregnant with something! So no matter what you’ve got going on here, there is life that will be borne from it. She creates not only literal children, but art, beauty, comfort. She feeds and soothes and nurtures. Her presence always bears fruit. It’s up to us to determine what fruit she’s bearing and what to do with it.

Do you recognize this energy in you life right now?

Legacy of the Divine Tarot
by Ciro Marchetti

Schedule a Tarot consultation with Dixie.

Moonflower Sees Me


Blurry, waterlogged Moonflower

I saw my first Moonflower bloom. Moonflowers are a relative to Morning Glory that bloom at night. It amused me a little, that they bloomed the first time at the full moon. Aptly named, huh?

Gifted with a pack of seeds, I had planted them way back in March, I think? Soaked the seeds and plopped them in a pot with my Morning Glory that went crazy. (I credit CJ’s Lunar home and Garden help for the Morning Glory’s liveliness. Looking up the site to link, I laughed when I saw the background picture she has up. Hello, Moonflower!)

I had believed my Moonflowers just didn’t make it. I had already mourned them.

“Ah, it’s because they are Moonflowers,” I said, maybe aloud. “They finally bloomed for me because I’m looking at my shadow.” Because you know, in my world, NOTHING ever “just is.”

Parts of me are just like these Moonflowers. I have hurts I thought were long dead and gone, losses I’d thought were already mourned and done with. I’m an awesome psychological gardener, after all! But some have taken root deep in the soil of my psyche. Alive and well, the wind through my everyday world unnoticed, hiding amongst the louder, sunnier flowers. I had no idea what was still growing. I also had no idea how they may have impacted any of the other flowers.

Moonflowers are supposed to be fragrant, but I didn’t think to sniff. It was early morning when I took this picture. I’d been up the night already, excavating in my gut, hoping I did what I needed but too muddled to know and too tired to figure it out. I tried very hard to face my own faults and even harder to feel like I’m good enough despite them. I felt every bit as blurry and waterlogged as this picture.

Now, I am feeling better. I ‘m thinking that knowing what’s growing in your psyche’s garden is the most vital information. The Moonflowers have a place, just as all my experiences have a place in making up who I am and what I value. If I’m able to not deny their existence, I can care for them appropriately and appreciate what they really have to offer. My history gives me a compassion and understanding that was hard-earned; failure to integrate the difficult parts makes it impossible to also appreciate the blooms.

Do you have Moonflowers (physical or metaphorical)?

12/10/11: Cycle of Motherhood | Empress, Page of Coins Rev, Death

“A man is great by deeds, not by birth.” Chanakya


Once you’ve started it, you don’t have say how it’s finished. This is both bane and relief of mothers everywhere. Literal and metaphorical mothers included.

Today’s Tarot is The Empress (Venus), the reversed Page of Coins (Earth in Earth), and Death (Scorpio).  Birth, development and death. These cards read almost like a poem.

Once you’ve given birth, the choices in exactly how and what your offspring grows into are not yours to make. Whatever’s not workable dies off. The process can hurt—okay, let’s be honest—it will hurt. But it alters at a very deep level and in doing so, allows a fresh, new life to grow. That’s almost the definition of giving birth, don’t you think?

Are you finding the cycle of birth and death at play for you?

Legacy of the Divine Tarot
by Ciro Marchetti

Schedule a Tarot consultation with Dixie.