04/12/14: Relationship Repair / 7 of Pentacles Reversed

7 of Pentacles Reversed Meaning

Whatever relationship is the topic at hand, I’m seeing the reversed Seven of Pentacles as putting it on shaky ground, long-term. Delays, frustrations, mixed signals or uncertain outcome is all possible when this card is not upright. The precedent being set now is questionable at best, counter-productive at worst. Nobody is cutting it off at the moment, but this is a connection under stress.

If the relationship is an important one, the goal is to get this card turned around. Address misunderstandings, become more transparent, set the stage for long-term trust, or otherwise look to correct and address any cause for tension. Do not expect the situation to aright itself immediately. Basically, it took a while for things to develop as they have. It will most likely take a while to fix it.

You feeling this? Hoping that’s a big, fat NO!

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Truth About Romance from a Tarot Reader

Here’s a core truth about romance that only somebody like a Tarot reader could tell you: Everybody gets EXACTLY the right partner at the right time.

I’m not talking soul mates, twin flames, past life connections or whatever the fluffy, romantic phrase du jour. I don’t know diddly about that hoopla! I just know what I see, over and over and over again.

You get exactly the relationship you need…but not necessarily to be happy.

The person who has the biggest and most important lessons for your development? THAT is the person you will be drawn to like a moth to flame. Everybody gets a partner custom-tailored to teach. Every relationship, we serve as both teacher and student.

Maybe your partner will be perfectly suited to push every button you have; maybe your partner will provide a mirror for you to look into. Maybe your partner will highlight your weaknesses with a flood light and fog horns, or maybe your partner outlines strengths you are unaware of possessing.

Whether we label it good, bad or indifferent from a subjective standpoint matters not. Without exception, your romantic partner will bring out of you what you need to know about you.

Now I’m not saying everybody “deserves” what they get. Not at all! I’m postulating intricate patterns of fate drawing people together, creating a classroom that is bigger than we can easily perceive.

Some people–the damn lucky ones–get to keep learning (and teaching) alongside the same partner for many years. Some do not. If you are with someone, either both will stand still, both will move forward or the relationship will implode. It’s a joint proposition.

The happiness part? Well, that’s your responsibility.

It’s the same thing I say about all Tarot (or spiritual) work: all roads lead home.

Do you find this to be true?

How can you make somebody change?

I work with  a LOT of people who are unhappy in interpersonal relationships. Be it mate, child, parent, friend, coworker, whomever, there are issues. People want to know how make somebody change, although it’s not necessarily verbalized as such. The wish is still there.

Here’s the thing: you don’t make somebody change. You can’t. It’s IMPOSSIBLE. You can pitch, persuade, threaten, manipulate, cajole, shame, pray, encourage, reward, ignore, deny, or do whatever else comes to mind. Your efforts may or may not have an impact, but even if they do, it’s often temporary and it’s never YOU making the changes happen. It’s always, always, always a choice. We call it “free will,” baby! Everybody’s got it, damn it.

But it’s NOT impossible to change a problematic relationship. In fact, it’s remarkably easy. There’s only one sure-fire way to do it, though.

Change yourself.

Now, hear me out.

It doesn’t matter who’s “right.” It doesn’t matter if you “get it” or not, although understanding can sometimes aid in the search for compassion and patience. (Be careful what you ask for. Compassion and patience sound great on paper, but they are advanced life courses!)

Here’s the thing: the stuff that makes you unbelievably angry, or hurt, or crazy, or confused…all those things are inescapably a byproduct of your thoughts, your beliefs and your choices. The feelings always come directly from YOUR energy. The behavior of others is not your choice, but your response to that behavior is exclusively under your control. So your subjective experience of a relationship is also firmly within your own control, like it or not.

I’m not saying it’s easy! I’m not saying it’s your job to stick to the bitter end in any situation. Sometimes, bailing is the best scenario. I’m saying no matter what actions you decide upon, take responsibility for yourself completely. It’s an incredibly empowering act.

Because the followup lesson here is vital: the stuff that makes you the craziest? It does for a reason! That crazy-making stuff one way or another reflects your own shadow self. And those relationships that constellate around us? They also do so for a reason. You can dump the relationship (and the next sixteen after), but you still have to wake up with yourself and your own state. That doesn’t just go away.

That Five of Wands from the Legacy of the Divine always reminds me of this particular lesson, because all the conflict stems from the same tree. Every time you want to go ballistic, look in the mirror and ask yourself, “How do I see myself in these triggers?” I can promise you, you’ll almost always be able to locate a self-reflection.

We attract people and situations who match our own energy, our vibration.  In a physical-world sense, we attract teachers of our own needed education. You can ditch the messenger but you cannot ditch the message. You can only do the homework or skip out, only to repeat the class until you graduate it.

This is how to break patterns. Once you shift your own energy, the relationship itself changes as a result. You’re always part of the energetic mix of any relationship involving you, eh? So when your energy shifts, so does the whole. It may shift to suit you, or it may fall away if it’s no longer required for your evolution. Maybe your shift causes improvements. Or maybe you don’t care any more, having dealt with your own stuff that brought you there. However it shakes out, though, you’re leaving stronger and wiser than how you started. At that point, it’s served it’s purpose and no longer has to be endured as-is.

The thing that keeps you chained to the pain is the lesson that’s lurking there.

Have you found this to be true?